Today, the day Apple announced the successor to the iPhone 4, El Reg (The Register UK) had a piece laying out the top 10 reasons for why "you" shouldn't buy the iPhone 5. Disregarding for a moment that the device isn't called an iPhone 5, and that the journalist responsible for the article knows nothing about me, I couldn't resist scanning over this list while riding the subway to work. I had low expectations for profound insight from a "Top X Reasons To" list, but this web publication is one of the better tech sites out there, so let's get on with my opinionated reactions. And no, of course I didn't read a word of the actual content supporting the headings, this is a blog after all! ;-)
1. No Swappable Battery
But.... it's never had a swappable battery. How has this suddenly become a must-have feature in the 6th generation of a product? I understand a complaint about something cutting edge, something that competitors might have (4G). But this is like complaining about the styling of the Model T in its 6th year of production. It's a design choice which was present for the entire lifespan of a product that they can't make fast enough. (It's also untrue, as my friends, and wife, have upgraded batteries at home with an $8 kit.)
2. No Memory Card Slot
What is that? Like, the thing in my Nikon D90? I'll respond with a list of my own:
(a) They offer several choices for storage capacity. I've never run out of room on my little 16 gigger.
(b) Sticking things in and out (or moving/protruding/gaping bits in general) goes totally against the design sensibilities of the entire model range. This is a slick, smooth, monocoque-yet-multifunction design. The all-out "soft machine" design philosophy was one of the boldest choices of the first model. People said it would fail because BlackBerry users would never give up their keyboards. Rememember that?
(c) OTA. Cloud. Remember that?
3. Buying iPhones Encourages The Walled-Garden Business Model
Apple is not a child whose behavior we can discourage by making choices which go against our own wishes. Whatever you may think of the business model, a bunch of people inspired to refrain from purchasing a product they otherwise would, just because they read... something.... that sounds like a high-minded principle, but suddenly becomes hard to defend under the duress of a few cocktails are not going to affect the company's business. At all. (*)
4. Not Actually That Great As A Phone
And the journalist says this because he's tried out the new dual-antenna design he knew nothing about at the time of writing? No, he did not. He had no idea that the design changed. He knows nothing of this device's capabilities as a phone.
5. Scarcely Marks You Out As One Of The Cognoscenti
What do you say about someone who aspires to be perceived as a member of the cognoscenti?
6. Stephen Fry Likes It
This must be some kind of ad hominem British thing. I think he's a member of the cognoscenti....
7. Very, Very Expensive For What It Is
And what exactly is it? It's what I couldn't have even dreamed of as a kid. It's something I never imagined I'd see in my lifetime, not that long ago. And I'm a Space 1999 fan.
Neuromarketers have been demonstrating that measuring the value a person attributes to something must include emotional and psychological variables, in addition to those of pure benefit. These are not to be taken lightly, they have very real consequences. Research continues to show that a product's price can have real-world effects on what it actually does.
8. Antenna is Badly Designed
Right. See #4.
9. You Don't Get Much Screen Considering How Big It Is
I.e., don't buy the new iPhone because there are products with the same or smaller form factor, which do everything it does as well or better, generate the same level of desire, and have a bigger and brighter screen. Sold. Please point the way.
10. If You Must Buy One, For Pity's Sake Not Now
And why the heck not? The folks who have been holding off on an upgrade thought the wait would be over in June! My wife has been waiting for this day for months! Why would the writer think the perfectly rational argument for waiting for prices to go down (and when does Apple do this, BTW?) is going to affect anyone, anyone at all?
So there you have it. It's perplexing, to come up with a list like this. And maybe it was a bit too easy to kick around. But it was fun doing it!
(*) BTW I love the walled garden. I have always appreciated Apple's (and Sun's, and SGI's) control over the entire product.
